Groove is in the Heart

Adoption, Anyone?

Since I decided to live on my own and moved to Tinzel Homes in May 2005, I knew that I had to prepare myself for major adjustments. One of this is accepting that fact that I am literally "on my own", with not much family contacts. This means no family members lounging around the house when I get home, no family members to chat with during dinner to catch up on how each and everyone's day went, no family members to bug, no family members bugging, no family member to fight with over the remote control/the computer/the landline. I guess this is fine and a lot of people probably envy me. It sounds cool after all, right?

Well, there are times when loneliness bites. More than anything else in this world, I truly miss the physical presence of Minyong. Wala lang. I miss popping up into their room when we used to live in Zaragoza Building and finding him on the bed, reading a newspaper. Or when I cross the sala from my room going to the kitchen, there he is flexibly seated on the sofa watching Noli De Castro dramatically announce a grandmother raped by her 16-year old druggie grandson on TV Patrol. Or I'd pretend to be asleep and hear my bedroom door open because he's conducting his nightly security check. When we moved into the new house in Alabang, I'd find him in his den drafting an article or catching up on his regular afternoon siesta. Or he'd be watching DVDs which he just bought with Nicollo from the Ruins. Otherwise, I'd catch him on the street cutting his bougainvilla or down in the basement garage, reving up his refurbished Mini Cooper. My Daddy... he's just very visible, easy to find.

Actually, since work is very hectic and I'm way too tired everytime I get home, I don't really feel much sadness. My dogs keep me busy and preoccupied. It's only during long weekends and non-working holidays that call for family gatherings that I get bitten. However, I thank God for my kumares whose families are kind enough to have me over with them.

Last Saturday, Oct.29, I got home early from work with no plans for the night. I just thought fuck, I'll just have to walk the dogs, watch tv, go online, and then sleep. Well here comes Adelaine inviting me for dinner at her place because it's her husband's birthday. How sweet. So I texted Gigi and we met up at Adelaine's. The whole Almeda clan, some of which are now my neighbors, welcomed me and immediately assissted me to the dinner table. I had brief occasions to chat with Flossie and Romel and watch Ninang Gigi play with Enzo. Adelaine was very hospitable and even packed away some lechon for me to bring home. Me and Gigi chatted until we felt it was time to retire to bed. I felt like family. It warmed my heart.

Here comes Sunday. At 4:00pm, I started to get ready to go to the cemetery to visit my mother and my lola's grave at Manila Memorial Park. My crew, comprised of Yaya Dadang, Chiquita, Pancho and Ringo were all geared up too. What used to be an annual thing of the Ordoñezes from Zaragoza Building has now changed with me as the Captain of the Ship headed for the cemetery. My passengers don't complain about how gloomy the weather is, or how bad the traffic is, how muddy it will be when we get there. That's what I used to do since I'm the whiner in the family. This time, I am the one taking charge. I am the one planning for the household on when we will be going to the cemetery. While in the car amidst the chaos of Undas, I am the one checking on my passengers if they're okay, telling them to hang on and be patient and that we're almost there. Just as we were about to enter the main gate of Manila Memorial, rain poured down. Fuck. Gotta make a U-turn and head back home. We'll probably have to go on Friday instead. It's another holiday anyways. I talked to my passengers again, apologized and explained why we had to go back. No complains heard, they're easy to deal with.

I decided to stop by Mommy's Pride Pancit Malabon along West Service Road and buy us some dinner takeout. While waiting, I can't help but stare at the Chocolate Cake, imagining how it would be nice to bring that to the Alvarezes for a feast over some hang and nonsense chitchat. Although I rarely hang at Maite's, I enjoy being there. Just because. So I texted Maite and asked if it was okay to hang at her place for the night. I tagged Gigi and Pancho along.

We got to Maite's and was welcomed at the door by Michael, with a wide grin on his face. Seated at the dinner table were her parents, playing solitaire. I gave the Cake to Maite and we all sat down. Shortly thereafter comes Guada and Pats checking out who just came in. Maite instantly cuts the cake and before you know it, us visitors and the whole Alvarez household are closely gathered at the main table. Tita Vickee starts convincing Gigi about the wonders of Virgin Coconut Oil. Meanwhile, I was busy interrogating Maite on her recent visit to Pats' dermatologist. I also compliment Pats on his smooth, radiant skin. In the background is still the mention of "omega 3 fatty acids" and "Ay naku, don't use canola oil, it's very unhealthy. Try Minola instead", "And you know what I just discovered, virgin coconut oil kills bad breath ha" and other technical stuff by Tita Vickee. Go Gigi, kaya mo yan. So that was our setup for a good 15 minutes. It was your typical chaotic family conversations. Afterwhich, Maite, Gigi and myself plopped onto the comfy couch and talked about chaz until again, it was time to go home and retire to bed. It was a home filled with laughter and warmth. It fed my lonesome soul.

Today, Oct.31, I am on holiday duty. 9am-6pm. Love my job. My celphone rings, screen flashing, "Daddy Calling". My heart smiles. "Oh Claudine, papunta kami kay Mommy Tinette ngayon." To which I reply, "Ah ok. Andito pa ako sa work ngayon, naka duty ako eh. Siguro mamayang gabi na ko pupunta, kasama ko si Dadang." Daddy says, "Ah ganun ba? O sige."

Again, I've just re-confirmed to myself that I'm really on my own now. Solo. On-my-own. I, me, myself. On most days, it's really not that bad. On few occasions, it pinches a bit. I'm sure I'll get used to this as the years will go on. And besides, who says I've lost family connections? With permission from my two closest friends, Claudine Almeda or Claudine Alvarez doesn't sound bad at all right? God Bless their hearts.

posted by Groove is in the Heart @ 8:36 AM